I'll Die with you!

I'll wouldn't Die for You

I'll Die with You

The sky darken along with my dismay, I was too late. I couldn't stop him, I saw him kill himself. I sulked in the pool of blood that came from his head. It was such a beautiful, big head. I really did love Benjamin. Why hadn't I not read and see the signs? His sudden transmogrification in his aura and attitude, I couldn't stand the thought with him out of my life. I couldn't stand the thought of another person in my life, hugging me, comforting me, and making love to me. No one but my Benny, I wanted it to be just me and him, and him and me. We had little fancies together running away and moving to Italy and own a little bakery in the far country. We would have two boys and a girl. The plan was perfect. We were even taking lessons to learn the language All was well and filled with joy and happiness as we held hands walking in the park that Saturday night singing "When I think to myself, What a wonderful world". What I didn't know that Benny's mother died of a heart attack as soon as he left the house to meet me.
Was it my fault that his mother died, which in turn made Benny commit suicide? The thought battled my self-conscious as I gazed at the revolver. He was a mama's boy. Ever since his father left him and his mother when he was seven, she became his strong hold and hero. She always protected and went the extra mile. Her Benny got the very best and nothing less. She was a sweet woman, but when she died Benny changed. His hardly ever took long walks with me, or hug, or kissed me. Not to mention denying me for sex! Our relationship strained but I still held on. Oh Benny, i stroked his curly brown hair. It was so soft; he was so soft even though he was pale and cold. His mere presence still brought me comfort.
The pain I was feeling inside thug at me more and more. My heart wept bitterly along with my eyes. I screamed and bawled to the very top of my lungs. I played the horrid ordeal of Benny holding the gun in his mouth with tears strolling, and as I screamed out for him to stop and drop the gun, he a pulled the trigger. I fell to his knees, then his face. I couldn't stand it any longer. It was too overwhelming. Someone heard me screaming from inside Benny's open apartment door. It was too late, they saw taste the blood of my lover. It was so bitter, so i plunged it deeper into my mouth, into my throat. It was too late, they saw me in tears and a regret-less look in my eyes. It was too late, they saw me pull the trigger , just like Benny. My Benny. My Sweet Benny.